Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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