Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
