Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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