Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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