I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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