so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
