you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize