another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
