he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
