Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
should my penis look like a turkey
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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