Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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