whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
