Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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