Umm I'm too high to move.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
