if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is the high leading the old right now
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
