Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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