please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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