I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
