You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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