apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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