I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You are a genius and a whore.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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