porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
