you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
