PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
