roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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