It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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