The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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