I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
