.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize