Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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