So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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