when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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