Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
