Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
