apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
