community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize