Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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