"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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