OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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