yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it glows. i had to have it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
