this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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