What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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