If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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