wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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