he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
