You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
where are my eyebrows?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
