real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
