did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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