Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize