I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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