After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
