Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
