What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize