The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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