I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
