Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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