Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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