just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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