I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
