We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
