she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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