that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You can't just leave with hair like that
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize