so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
