Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
