Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Randomize
